I've been thinking about what God has been teaching me about worship and figured I would share so that maybe someone could be encouraged.
I began leading worship in a Pentecostal church when I was around 15. The way I viewed worship was drastically different from how I view it now. I used to think more on the emotional side when it came to worship. I felt that I wasn't truly worshiping unless I had goosebumps or tears streaming down my face. "Worship" (in the emotional since) had become my idol. I was living from each emotional "high" to the next. It was much easier to worship when the music was louder and everyone around me was into it. Worship was more about what God could give to me at this point.
When I got to NGU I felt that no one understood worship correctly, when all I long I had it wrong. It became hard for me to worship and I felt I was exhausted at trying to worship. I couldn't understand why it didn't feel the same as it did before.
Around my sophomore and junior year I felt that God had stripped away my emotions. I became very frustrated. My theology totally changed because I was beginning to actually dive into God's word for myself and not take everyone's word on what to believe (mostly because I didn't have emotions to rely on). I began to realize that maybe worship doesn't have to be emotional all the time. I realized that I had been worshiping my emotions. Through understanding and grasping some of the attributes of God I began to understand more about worship. Worship is a realization of who God is. Worship is also something that must be constant in my life. If I'm not learning about God then I'm not worshiping. All this time I had been leading people in worship and didn't even understand what it was. I still have much to learn about it but at least I have some direction now.
I believe God took away my emotion for the reason of understanding worship. When we understand something simple like the Sovereignty of God and the fact that God controls the universe we then have something about God to worship. Learning more about things like redemption and grace should drive us to worship. There isn't a certain song or formula to creating an atmosphere that enables us to worship. When we simply acknowledge who God is and what God has done and accomplished, we can worship. Don't expect to experience worship on Sunday if you haven't worshiped on Monday through Saturday. You can't worship someone you know nothing about.
I've been reading "Worship Matters" by Bob Kaufflin and one thing I have learned about worship is that Jesus has perfected my worship through the Cross. The Cross didn't only redeem those who believe but it also perfected our worship. Jesus worships God on our behalf. When we give the littlest bit in worship it is if God is seeing perfect worship just as God sees us as sinless even though we still sin. This is amazing! No longer do I have to worry if my worship is acceptable. God sees me as justified and holy because He sees Christ in me. This should drive us to more worship. Worship leads to more worship. Worship is about what I can give to God, not the other way around.
There is much more that God has been teaching me about worship but this is just a little snip of where God has taken me.
